… the hard working and drinking Uncle of Monday who never got around to having a wife and kids. The smell of the sweet lazyness wafting in from Saturday through that open window, while the earnest hammering of productive thought still drives the weeks work into arrrrghggggggggggggggggg it’s got my leg ITS GOT MY LEG
So how about some more quotes ?
WORDS FROM STEVEN WRIGHT:
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it’s the scenic route.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards.
I got a full house and four people died.
You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
The sky is falling…no, I’m tipping over backwards.