That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at will and make an incredible din all the while! Ah, it’s great to be male!
Reality continues to ruin my life.
“What are you doing?”
“You look more like you’re bored.”
“The world bores you when you’re cool.”
Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
This one’s tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers, like eleventeen …
I’m learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life … Procrastinating and rationalizing.
I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information
I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.
“I’m a simple man, Hobbes.”
“You?? Yesterday you wanted a nuclear powered car that could turn into a jet with laser-guided heat-seeking missiles!”
“I’m a simple man with complex tastes.”
“What state do you live in?”
I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.
“Do you think there’s a God?
“Well somebody’s out to get me!”
In my opinion, television validates existence.
“Here’s a movie we should watch.”
“Who’s in it?”
“It says ‘Japanese Cast’…two big rubbery monsters slug it out over major metropolitan centres in a battle for world supremacy…doesn’t that sound great?”
“And people say that foreign film is inaccessible.”
“Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?”
“I’m not sure that man needs the help.”
So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.